“I don’t have time” – “I’m too busy.” – “Sorry, I know I said I’d take care of that, but I didn’t have time”
Yet I’ve come to believe there’s no such thing as “being too busy” or “didn’t have time” or “I forgot”. Or rather, I think those types of expressions are not precise descriptions of the truth. A more truthful statement is when I say (at least to myself, but more often now also to others), “I overcommitted and made more promises than I can keep” or “I made other things more important”.
When I do this, I start taking back the power of my choices. I notice how I’ve spent some – sometimes most – of my time (and my precious energy) in pursuits different than what I tell myself is most important. And I start to take back a little bit of myself that I’d lost. And you know how easy it can be to lose your “self” when you’ve got a chronic health issue following you around.
Didn’t have time for exercise? Nope, you didn’t take the time. You made everything else more important than exercise. That’s not an opinion, it’s data. You didn’t CHOOSE to exercise – you chose to do everything BUT exercise (or cook healthy, or call your doctor, or take a nap, or ask for help, or drink water, or play with your child, or to say “NO”, or…).
Your daily actions speak volumes about what you’ve actually chosen (whether consciously or unconsciously) as your beliefs and priorities. If your actions are indeed in alignment with what you KNOW to be the most important things to YOU – and you’re not leaving other “most important things” out – then it’s all good.
If not, a first step is to STOP using time and busyness as excuses, and start owning the choices YOU made to get here. Work backwards in time and see how nobody has been making choices about your life but you.
If you feel your hackles rise with this perspective, you’re not alone. It takes some time to get used to. But what’s the danger in trying this out for a day or 10? When you notice you’ve broken yet another promise to yourself, just try this wording “I chose not to _____”, and see how that feels. Then say it again. Yeah it might hurt a bit. But there’s the sweet feeling of truth too, eh? Doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or did something wrong. It does mean you’re inching your way back into your own driver’s seat… ~Z