“What you resist, persists”.
One way I think about this idea of resistance is that if I’m resisting (or denying) something that’s already occurred, I’m in essence pushing against a past I can’t change and thereby not facing forward to watch (and influence) where I’m going.
And yet, sometimes I’m outrageously persistent in my resistance of some realities. I have spent good chunks of my life reliving events, and reviewing how so-and-so shouldn’t have done whatever. If you’ve done this, you know that the more you mull it over or talk about it, the stronger the resistance gets.
I find it to be the same with illness and the various symptoms. The more I tell myself that “this isn’t fair and shouldn’t be happening to me”, or “I’ve been following all my care strategies and plans so I shouldn’t be having a relapse right now” etc., the less able I am to actually conjure up a mature response.
Because resistance is one way of getting lost in victimhood. And feeling like a victim is another way of saying we feel small. And when we feel small, we’re in essence saying that we’ve regressed to BEING small – i.e. being much younger. I don’t now about you, but my younger more immature self only rarely had any solid advice or wise counsel.
So as in Part I of this, throw your pity party if you must, and then try saying “yes” to what is already true and cannot be undone. Ask yourself once again, what’s the next first step. You know, not the second or the third step. The first step. Close in. The one you don’t want to take. ~Z