“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I don’t do that.”
“That’s not a good idea for me”
Hopefully you’ve got a version or two of these phrases for yourself. If you don’t, get some words like this and load your chambers so you can fire off this simple boundary whenever you need it. And by “need” I mean your new need to protect the really important things in your life – the things that are indeed more important than the price you might have to pay if you were to say “yes” to whatever you’re saying “no” to.
And there’s another plus: When you have your own simple phrase of self-protection, you are stopping a flood of energy-sucking excuses (or lies) – OR long-winded explanations about how “I used to be able to do this or that but nowadays with my health… etc. etc.”, from drowning out truth and heartfelt connection with yourself and others.
It’s not easy. Keeping these flood waters out may require frequent sandbagging of leaks and breaches. But I think this can indeed be a situation where the “best offense is a good defense” as they say – yet another form of investment in a future worth loving. Yet another tool to help you be at peace with your limitations and keep them out of the driver’s seat of your life.
There’s an honesty in saying “no” in a clean way without excuses or story. Try it out. Have a little faith that the people in your life will begin to respect you just a tad more when you say “That’s not gonna work for me”. ~Z