Even before you got sick, you likely were engaged in the push-pull of choices about self-care or self nurturing. Food is the easiest example: Is eating that bowl of ice cream being “kind” to myself or harmful?
Obviously there’s no absolute answer to those kinds of questions. But one way to look at such choices is simply from the perspective of the impacts or consequences of them – both short and long-term.
So skipping my morning workout (on a whim) probably will feel nice because it’s easier than pushing myself for an hour. But I’ll also experience some guilt. My trust and self-confidence will take a small hit too. Which can chip away at my mood. Which can affect other important choices for the rest of the day. While there’s no real long-term impact of skipping one workout, there could be if I do it regularly (i.e. less energy, less self-confidence, more fatigue, weight gain etc.).
So this little “treat” to myself is only a treat to the part of myself that doesn’t have my long-term best interests at heart. You might say I’m “treating” a younger or less mature part of myself. A part that wants to be babied and nurtured – and frankly that doesn’t want to have to be responsible for myself because it’s a lot of fricking work!
I’m certainly not saying it’s “wrong” or “bad” to indulge that part of ourselves. I’m suggesting that we not pretend it’s “good” for us. I suggest that you tell yourself the truth about what part of you is getting the “treat”. And then do it with confidence.
THAT reduces the collateral mental and emotional damage. THAT is about being human AND accountable to yourself. ~Z