For people still using denial as a valid strategy – Part II

In Part I, I wrote of the gap between your current reality and your vision of your life – and the creative tension between them. If accept that denying your current reality is not the best option for creating a future and life you can love, read on.

My experience is that it’s a natural tendency to try to induce change in our lives by “adding” things – activities and commitments, new habits etc. Not necessarily a bad or wrong approach, but here’s a different one.

heavy bags:obstacles
Consider obstacles as extra weight you’re carrying around day after day…

Spend more time and energy REALLY looking at your “current reality”. Look at how you live your life. Your routines. What’s getting done. What’s not getting done (or getting done poorly). What rituals and routines and habits (and “have to’s”) have become unconscious. Ask how each thing in your life is serving you – helpfully and unhelpfully. Yes, this is a project. Yes this takes some time.

The goal here is to discover something you’re doing that is an obstacle to the change you say you want in your life. And then choose to remove it. It’s probably something that made sense when you were more functional than you are now. Maybe it’s your bedtime, or how often you wash your bedding, or regular commitments to meetings or gatherings. But take a close look. And keep looking. Challenge it’s usefulness. Ask if it’s necessary.

You’ll know it when you see it. Then make plans to let it go  – or just cut the ties now.

With our time and energy at a premium (to survive AND make the preparations for our “new normal”), there can be way more power in removing obstacles to growth and change than in pushing harder and adding new commitments.     ~Z