For people still using denial as a valid strategy – Part I

In the previous post, I wrote of getting to know where you are, right here and right now. Let’s call that current reality.

And for most of us, most of the time, there is a gap between our current reality and our vision of our ideal life. The tension between the two is the place where we intentionally create our lives – also known as creative tension (my original learning about this was from The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge – a book on organizationalcreative tension learning and change).

I’m a dreamer of sorts. So there’s always been a gap between where I am and my ideal life. I’d learned to live with the gap and use the creative tension where I could (namely career, relationships, starting a business, owning a home etc.). But when I got sick – and then got sicker – and then didn’t fully recover – that gap expanded and kept on expanding. Dreams got remote as my focus was about getting through each hour or day. The tension built.

So, I did what I’ve always done – I worked harder (or at least it felt harder). And when that wasn’t working, I’d keep telling myself that I’d soon be getting better and then I could “catch back up” on everything I was neglecting.

I spent (and lost) a lot of years in that pattern of “push and lie” – doing what worked before (pushing harder) and lying to myself (pretending it would all magically get better somehow).

If you know what I’m talking about, nod your head.

THAT is an example of an approach that not only doesn’t work (when has living a lie ever been a good plan?) but which prolongs and enhances suffering. Not to mention being a foolproof method to prevent true healing, recovery, wellness and peace of mind.

Ignore your current reality at your own peril…     ~Z