Are you “needy” if you need help?

It’s not up to you to decide if you’re “needy” in someone else’s eyes. They get to make the judgment whether you like it or not.

The truth is though, you probably will thrive and progress more if you ask for help. Regularly. The paradox is that asking for help reveals some vulnerability. That might feel like weakness. But it’s a potential source of power and strength depending on how you ask.

People like to help more than the like feeling coerced into a rescue…
People like to help more than the like feeling coerced into a rescue…

If you ask from a place of being a victim – from a “poor poor me – if it wasn’t for this stupid illness” place, then you’re probably going to get the “needy” reputation.

If you ask from the powerful perspective of utilizing resources so you can keep creating your life and your future that honors your highest values, it’s a different thing. First, people can feel (more) free to say “no” cleanly and directly, because you’re not attached to them saying “yes”. Second, you’re more likely to keep getting help in the long run from people not feeling put off or manipulated.

So consider asking for help more than you do now. Try it with a smile instead of a pout. Ask with the confidence that you’re respecting yourself by asking.  Be prepared for any outcome before asking, and your relationships will thank you.      ~Z