Are you holding back permission to yourself?

I deny myself permission for the silliest things sometimes…

It may feel like there's more than one you, but who's got time for that?
It may feel like there’s more than one you, but who’s got time for that?

One of the bigger voices in my head is about what “other people” might think of me. For example, I just came out of the 90˚ heat having walked my dog for 45 minutes. The local farmer’s market wasn’t yet open, so I was thinking of going back for some produce. And yet, I was withholding permission to myself to drive there for fear of somebody thinking I should have walked.

Yeah yeah I know – Who cares what others think? I’m surprised I’m still unable (consistently anyway) to just put my own needs and the needs of my wellness first. I could walk the 4 blocks to the market. But frankly, I know my body has had enough heat for the day, as I’ve not yet acclimated to the heat of this summer, and I know too much heat can cause a relapse for me.

So I realize I’ve created an unnecessary quandary in my brain that frankly is creating more discomfort and suffering – and using some of my limited daily mental energy.

What others think about my choices (without knowing MY context) is irrelevant to what is important to me. I can give myself permission – I don’t need it from anybody else.

When I remember this – that nobody can see my context, nor can I see theirs – I also become more compassionate for others doing things that might seem questionable for me.

I give myself permission to be me – to TAKE CARE of me, and thereby give myself permission for others to be themselves…

Simple, but not easy…   ~Z