3 ways to “defeat” self-defeating messages – Part I

Illness or ongoing health challenges reveal and may even strengthen some weaknesses. One shortcoming many of us share is a merciless inner critic – a voice reminding us that we’re just not good enough yet, and perhaps even that we deserve all the “bad luck” we’ve gotten…

The only way to win against the inner critic is to grow yourself and be bigger than her/him...
The only way to win against the inner critic is to grow yourself and be bigger than her/him…

However that shaming voice came to be, I’m guessing that you’ve been unwittingly practicing it at every downturn in your life – for decades… So there’s at least that one thing you’re masterful at… 😉

In my work with people, I often hear them say some version of “I need to stop thinking that way”. Good luck with that. I’ve never been able to stop those thoughts. But I’m a big believer in counteracting them by growing other aspects of our being: Gratitude, Compassion and Self-Blessing.

Unless you’re already an expert, start practicing – no matter how silly it feels. And by practicing, I mean start doing some kind of repetitive practice

No matter what has befallen you, there is something you can be grateful for. I journal a daily gratitude practice. Some days I’m grateful for no pain, no headaches, etc. On painful days, I’m grateful that my appliances work and that I woke up, or for my feet, and for not having ______ disease (because having any illness does not preclude getting another). And of course, I’m grateful for friends and fine weather.

This daily practice has also made me more skillful at feeling grateful in real time – for birdsong, or a juicy peach. Building this muscle of gratitude in my psyche has helped me become a more resilient person and therefore less susceptible to my own subconsciously imposed attacks on my value and worth.

F**k shame! My dishwasher’s been running for 10 years straight ;-!   ~Z